Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Blush and Bashful

 "Oh how pretentious is this wedding going to get I ask you? That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto Bismol." 
- M'Lynn, Steel Magnolias

This is what happens when 3 out of 4 housemates are each getting married within the next 7 months:

My roommate nicknamed it 'girl porn.' Spot on. I think I've bought my last bridal mag. 'Pretty sure there's not $5 worth of ideas in each of them; half their weight is pictures of gowns I'd never buy, even if they didn't cost more than my first car. Besides, there are a plethora of things to look at online for free.

It was so obnoxious in college to listen to girls in the dorms pour over these magazines and explain their detailed nuptial plans. Hey, you're 19 and you've been dating like 2 weeks. Take it easy.

Too me, it never made much sense to get ideas in your head, get your hopes up, and set yourself up for disappointment when things (i.e. Prince Charming) don't come through. Perhaps I'm overly cynical. But for my own self, I vowed to abstain from all bridal magazines and wedding planning until I was actually engaged. That lasted about 8 years. But this summer, having a little too much free time on my hands, I wavered and broke my own rule. Plus, Borders was going out of business; there were all these wedding guides for dirt cheap. I couldn't resist, and started sketching out the blueprint for The Most Wonderful Wedding Ever.

Perhaps it wasn't too premature, for Mr. Awesome and I set a date pretty soon after. However, once you indulge, it's easy to over indulge. I think I check out the blog Style Me Pretty every other day at least. Granted, it is a productive inspiration process. I mean, I am getting some ideas that I'll actually use. But on the other hand, a lot of the styling is so extreme as to be nauseating. Wedding blogs are all over this vintage-artsy-crafty look. Some of the pictures that get posted are incredible, and I wonder if they were really about throwing a party that people will enjoy or hosting a highly stylized photo shoot. I'm starting to dry heave a little when I hear "whimsical" or "vintage."

Stuff like sticking old furniture or suitcases out for . . . for what again? just because they look old school I guess. I'm sure guests loved flying all the way to Iceland for this:

There's definitely a trend in displaying fashionable junk of dubious practicality. Like dragging a nice chesterfield sofa into the outdoors. I guess the old typewriters are there so guests can type out their names instead of signing a guestbook? Wouldn't they rather be in the bar line? I haven't figured out the old Singer either. But hey, it looks so darling through a tinted lens!

Or things that make me highly suspect that the groomsmen are getting paid to wear what they do. How emasculating . . .

Sure, it all looks very artistic. But who are they really trying to impress? I doubt their Granddad.

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